Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
