last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
