Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
