I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
