I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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