I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize