Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
