I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
