Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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