You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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