Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
