And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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