Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
