exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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