Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
