you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
