my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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