I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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