a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize