Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
whose parrot is this?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
