did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
