Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
