I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And my parents said I crawled through the house
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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