You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
