another moral hangover. fuck.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
