some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
