she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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