If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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