So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
