i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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