I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
