normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
