woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
