Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
