dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
