my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize