This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
