This girl is more easily done than said...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
