Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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