i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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