Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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