butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
