I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
