there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sobbing to NWA
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
