8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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