high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
