Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
