I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
