Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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