Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
