i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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