Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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