Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
