No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
