is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
