Nicole vs. Life
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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