It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
